The title of this post is my recollection of the words I used to describe what we were doing with one another to my woman last weekend, after we stopped and caught our breath. Seriously, my dreams don't compare to this reality. The weekend got off to a strange start, however. Read on to learn the tale. As I noted in Planning for My Near Future Self, I'm kind of a scatter brain. Unfortunately, life can't always be planned ahead of time. Sometimes I forget important stuff because I become stressed or excited in the heat of the moment. Such was the case last Thursday evening, as I traveled from the airport to see my girlfriend.
I was excited and anxious, giddy and nervous. I had a lot on my mind, and I felt free of my daily concerns. I was in a fantastic mood, but my mind was running like a crazy monkey on a treadmill. I don't even know if they do that, but if they do, I'm just saying. I got off the plane and headed straight for ground transportation. I didn't check any bags, so I was able to fly through the terminal. You should have seen the befuddled travelers jumping out of my way. Apparently, being run over by a crazy blind man isn't on many passengers' bucket lists.
I exited the terminal with haste, and hit up the cab line. Once inside the cab, I turned my attention to the task of telling the driver where I needed to go. I pulled out my trusty iPad, and started looking up pertinent information. I gave the driver my girlfriend's address, then plotted a course on the map from our current location to her abode. My girl recommended I take a specific route, so I opened the document containing her suggested course, and compared it with Google's recommendation. They were different. Needless to say, I didn't listen to Sergey and Larry.
Once we started moving, I began to relax a little. The cab driver and I had a nice conversation along the way. He's from Pakistan, of Punjabi descent. I grew up in an area with a large population of Indians from Punjab. I think we both felt like we were talking to a friend we'd never met. Being a productivity junkie, and knowing I wouldn't want to take precious time over the weekend to work, I processed some email. Before I knew it, we had arrived. Excitement flooded over me. I sprang from the cab, grabbing my jacket b naughty, bags, and coat. I covered the distance to my girl's doorstep in a moment. Once we had properly greeted one another and settled me in, I was overcome by fear. I couldn't find my iPad. I wanted to connect it to its charger, but it was nowhere to be found. My sense of alarm grew as I realized it was missing. My girlfriend helped me look for it, and when we couldn't find it, she called the cab company she thought I used. We didn't know which one for sure, because I paid with cash, and hadn't noticed the name of the company. Luckily, she saw the cab arrive, and remembered what it looked like, and what color it was.
I was starting to panic, when I realized, "There's an app for that." Some of you know that I'm a true Apple zealot. I've been carrying portable computers manufactured by the fruit company for almost 20 years. My first real computer was an Apple IIc (1984 vintage). I wrote my own video games on it in AppleSoft BASIC. I've even met Steve Jobs. Anyway, if you have an iPhone, and the Find My iPhone app installed, you can locate any other iPod Touch, iPhone, or iPad you own, as long as you have the app installed on that device, too.
I took out my iPhone, hoping I'd be able to locate my iPad with it. Of course the app worked flawlessly. Not only did it find the iPad, it showed it moving around town in real time. I typed a message, included my phone number, and sent it to the iPad screen. I made the iPad play an alert sound for good measure. I figured it was worth a try. The cab driver seemed like a good guy, so maybe he would help bring it back if he had it. Having done what we could, we resolved to not let my dipshit move ruin our weekend. We decided to get breakfast at an all-night diner nearby. Who doesn't love greasy diner food in the middle of the night? Just as we were preparing to leave, my phone rang. I've never been so happy to hear a thick Punjabi accent in all my life. It was the cab driver. He said he had my iPad, and would bring it to me either in 20 minutes, or two hours. I thanked him, and assured him that whenever he could come would be just fine with me. He came to the diner just as our food was being served. I compensated him for his trouble, and resumed possession of my "media tablet". Taken as a whole, the evening was an adventure. There was action and suspense.
There was high tech problem-solving. There was romance and racy adult content. There was even some comedy relief (my interaction with, and subsequent impression of, the cab driver). I had so much fun. I'm a scatter brain, but I'm a very happy one.
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